(Thursday, October 23, 2008 @ 11:54 PM)
A Very Important Person says:
I don't know what's with this weird image that is the faux display image. Funneh. I will search for a new one soon. So! I finally change my blogskin. I couldn't stand the last one. Too bright.
White font. Revamped. Coolio. I am too tired to speak now. After all. I just spoke 2 days ago. G'night.
(Wednesday, October 22, 2008 @ 12:34 AM)
A Very Important Person says:
I have recently surfed into a wave of nostalgia. No, surfed isn't the right verb. It sounds too happy. Surfin' on the sand, dahdeedah. I am trying to use a metaphor, but it seems to have failed in its purpose. Well anyway. Non-stop emo songs. On the way home, sitting in class waiting, hanging in 24 when there's no one around to put on a smile for. No, that sounds like I'm faking. Nay, I do not fake the smile, but when it's me alone with myself, I don't feel the need to. What's so jolly about life anyway. Like a friend once said, Life sucks, and then you die. Thank you Charis for that very applicable quote. Seriously. Sigh. Sighing for no reason at all. I have a feeling my mum thinks I'm secretly depressed.
Haha!!! No I'm not!!!
I wish. Augh. What's wrong with me. It's times like these when I feel I am a useless summer squash. No I am not trying to be funny. Summer squash is a right metaphor. Looks like summer! All bright and gay. But squash. The feeling is of oppression, depression, and other negative words ending with ession. In class, I hear people discussing how many h3s they're going to take. Some even apply for three 'In case I don't get some of them'. Well right. Sure. Like they can refuse someone from the top few percent in the cohort a H3. These people can so easily grab nice grades while here I am, slogging away. Maybe they're right. It's not work hard but work smart. Well, I'm not smart, I'm sorry. I can't work that way. Sheet. No. Thinking of myself this way will make myself un-smart! Scrap that. I am a smart kid!
Good thing I abandoned this place. No one's here to listen to me argue with myself. I'm such a schizophrenic. No, I'm not.
What sort of crap am I writing. This is like free writing. Really. I am annoyed at how emo I have become. Emotional. And it's just emotions taking me over, caught up in sorrow, lost in the song, but if you don't come back, come home to me darling, doobeedoo. I remember Yinxue used to sing that a lot. And the gay song from Rent. Live in my house, I'll be your shelter, just pay me back with one thousand kisses, be my lover, and I'll cover you.
Why can't I stop. This writing could go on forever. I'm just making myself feel worse right. I always try to be there for others, but then once I'm not needed, I'm just thrown to one side; discarded, like a used boot. Don't ask me why I used boot. I just like the sound of it. Get booted. Perhaps it's just like what Kelly and I used to say we felt about how people reacted to us. We tend to think too much and be over-sensitive, and tend to think that this person so-and-so thinks this way about me (us, separately) when actually whatever this person did to make us think this way was just a random action that signified nothing.
It's times like this that (I think) people consider suicide right? Worry not, I be not suicidal. I have too many things left undone. Like seeing Massa win the Brazil Grand Prix in 2 weeks time.
I used to think I'd always have an endless pool of friends. But now I see, that's far from the truth. The pool has dried up somehow. And whatever I pump in doesn't seem to fill up the pool to its former glory. It evaporates too fast. Global warming perhaps? Haha. Just a futile attempt to try to make myself laugh a bit. An attempt that failed miserably. Oh fine. I'll go away now and wallow in my misery and self pity. But before I go, a beautiful song that I've liked ever since I first heard it. Must've been in Primary school. But it was only recently that I rediscovered this song. Here we go.
I Won't Say (I'm In Love)-Disney's Hercules Susan Egan
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history--been there done that
Who'd ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you (Oh, no)
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and who you're thinking of
No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no
You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh
It's too cliche
I won't say i'm in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad
No chance, no way,
I won't say it, no, no
Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love
This scene won't play,
I won't say i'm in love
You're doin' flips, read our lips:
You're in love
You're way off base, I won't say it (She won't say in love)
Get off my case, I won't say it
Girl, don't be proud
It's okay you're in love
Oh, at least out loud, I won't say i'm in love
Misery, agony, helplessness, hopelessness, Heartache and woe.
(Sunday, October 12, 2008 @ 11:23 PM)
A Very Important Person says:
Whoa. Oh my sky, Would you believe this. I'm finally back after 1306346912 days of hiatus. Whoo. I don't think enyone even comes here anymore. I should make an effort to revive this place, no? Anyway. Down to business.
Promos are long over. Thank heavens. When I think about how long I've not posted, I am reminded of how I used to blogsurf all the time. Whiling those hours away, those times that I had. So free, I used to be. And of course, I wasn't as lazy as I am now. But that's not the point.
I mean. Blogsurfing. Everyday (almost). For at least an hour or so. At those same old blogs I used to visit all the time. Ah well. Those were the days of the Secondary School. Now that we are in the Junior College, we do things so differently. Hah. What can I say.
Friday workshop groups for A-Levels (right?) are out! Lucky, lucky I. Great groupmates. Haha. I couldn't hope for a better group. We know each other so well. Lucky lucky I.
I procrastinate too much. I always start things I can't finish. And I don't speak to people the way I used to. Do I really have to resort to reading self-help books to learn how to communicate with others? Or is it just that I refuse to go and make the effort to make the connection
because, I'd remember those times? Gawd, I sound like some emo kid. Must be that time of the month again. Sigh, I wish. I really wish I could turn back time to have those happy days back again. Cliched, but true. Cliches are always right in some way, even though they sound so
cheesy and such. Sigh.
Well. Hmm. Let's talk about duos! Amanda and I have sort of settled on Christopher Durang's Baby with the Bathwater for our duo. Ms Pringle and Principal. I always have a feeling of inadequacy. IS there such a word? Let me correct myself. A feeling of
being inadequate when it comes to things related to TSD. I'm perfectly fine on my own, but when it comes to comparing myself with others, I just think, I don't think deep enough. I'm not 'conceptualizing' enough. What was that word that I kept quoting Jireh for? Dang. I can't remember.
Starts with a C I think. Ah yes. 'Congruent'. It is not congruent. Writing in a blog is exactly like free writing. It's the easiest kind of essay writing. Not that I would call a blog post an 'essay' of course. Hah. What would the title of this particluar essay be, I wonder. Possibly
'Rants of an Emo Kid' or, 'Those Days' or something like that.
Remember what I just said a paragraph ago about not ending what I start? Or starting things I can't finish? I just did it again. Start typing about something I wanted to say, then I digressed. Terrible. I have the
mind of a seven-year-old. I can't concentrate for more than what, 10 minutes? Short attention spans. What's the disorder associated with this? Autism? Let me wiki it. Gosh. Technology is marvelous when it works. When you have to struggle with fuzzy internet connections, laptops/appliances
with short battery life that go kaputt on you when you need them the most, you just feel like technology was invented to annoy you. Oh here we are. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
"Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurobehavioral developmental disorder affecting about 3-5% of the world's population. It typically presents during childhood, and is characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness and inattention, with or without a component of hyperactivity."
Well. I sure as hell don't have the hyperactive part. You won't find a more lethargic person. Perhaps just at this moment. I must be the most lethargic person in the multiverse. Woo. The bass power of my computer's speakers just caused the roof to vibrate. Possibly due to natural frequency, as the speakers
vibrate at the same frequency as the roof. Yes, everything has a natural vibrating frequency. Even humans. Whoo. Imagine if we found our natural frequency and some soundwaves were of the same frequency. We'd explode nicely. That's how a soprano singing a high note can shatter a glass wine thingy. Wossname.
Wine glass. Yes. See. I've jumped topic again. I can't be bothered to continue what I was writing.
I think this post is long enough. If you've actually read thus far, I applaud your achievements. You should get a medal for persevering all the way to the end. Seriously. Other than myself, I don't know who else reads this. Perhaps I should just give myself a medal right now. I am tired. I will sleep.
Group breakfast tomorrow morning! Something nice to look forward to.
[edit]I am very out of touch with blogs. I go to my links page and stare and stare and I don't know where to start. And to think I just said that I could spend hours blogsurfing. Oh, the irony of life. Sigh. I don't know whose blog to read.
I keep thinking. Why. Why. Why. Emoness. Gawd. Stop it please. I am turning into the kind of person I'd like to dislike.
Sweetie pie is an expression, not a food. You don't go into a restaurant and order sweetie pie.