Buzzed off.

2008-11-22T00:20:00.002+08:00

I am angst-filled. I joined the angst club. And I was voted unanimously the president. Seriously. Don't ask, won't tell. Shuddup.

On a lighter note, does anyone want Not-So-Silent-Night tickets? It's a VJCSB end of year concert with a twist. Comes with a hilarious skit. I know. I've read the script. And lovely songs of course. How can you miss it.

I'm not going to talk about anything pertaining to musicals/theater/drama/singing for a while. It's a very sore point with me. Don't rub salt into my wounds. Please. Spare me.

There is nothing more depressing than overwhelming optimism.

2008-11-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

Today I return from a most interesting showing of I Theatre's Wizard of Oz. Of course. Most of the actors are Singaporeans, but that didn't stop the musical from being good. Other than that, and the fact that there was a theatre full of kids there to annoy me, it was great. The costumes were fantastical, they really brought out the difference between the happy-go-lucky Munchkins, the free Oz-ians and the regimental people under the Wicked Witch of the West. Ooh. Alliteration. Yes really. The Munchkins all had flowers on their hats and very pleasant blue costumes to complement the happy floral image. The Oz-ians on the other hand. Every single one of them had a different green costume. I was amazed. Every costume was different. No repeats. O. And the regimental people all wore the same kind of black cloak and black pants. Except for the leader who wore a sort of bloody, maroon-ish red outfit. The red and black really served to bring out the evil witchy feeling. And of course. Forebodings.

And there were puppets!

The Munchkins bolstered their ranks by having half of them real and the other half puppets! I didn't realize till they started singing that each real Munchkin was holding on to another puppet Munchkin!

Well. What more can I say? The singing was good enough to satisfy me (o, egotism), the acting was great too, lights/sounds/costumes/puppets/masks were meticulously done, set was ginormous but phantasmagorical. Beautiful. So non-realistic, but real. And the 4-man band. I was disappointed it wasn't a full orchestra, but what can you expect from a kid's musical? And half the time the kids didn't get the puns. Like when the evil henchmen tore Scarecrow up, TinMan told him to 'pull yourself together'. No reaction.

Oh well. A most fruitful day at the theatre, I must say.

2008-10-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's with this weird image that is the faux display image. Funneh. I will search for a new one soon. So! I finally change my blogskin. I couldn't stand the last one. Too bright. White font. Revamped. Coolio. I am too tired to speak now. After all. I just spoke 2 days ago. G'night.

2008-10-22T00:34:00.001+08:00

I have recently surfed into a wave of nostalgia. No, surfed isn't the right verb. It sounds too happy. Surfin' on the sand, dahdeedah. I am trying to use a metaphor, but it seems to have failed in its purpose. Well anyway. Non-stop emo songs. On the way home, sitting in class waiting, hanging in 24 when there's no one around to put on a smile for. No, that sounds like I'm faking. Nay, I do not fake the smile, but when it's me alone with myself, I don't feel the need to. What's so jolly about life anyway. Like a friend once said, Life sucks, and then you die. Thank you Charis for that very applicable quote. Seriously. Sigh. Sighing for no reason at all. I have a feeling my mum thinks I'm secretly depressed.

Haha!!! No I'm not!!!

I wish. Augh. What's wrong with me. It's times like these when I feel I am a useless summer squash. No I am not trying to be funny. Summer squash is a right metaphor. Looks like summer! All bright and gay. But squash. The feeling is of oppression, depression, and other negative words ending with ession. In class, I hear people discussing how many h3s they're going to take. Some even apply for three 'In case I don't get some of them'. Well right. Sure. Like they can refuse someone from the top few percent in the cohort a H3. These people can so easily grab nice grades while here I am, slogging away. Maybe they're right. It's not work hard but work smart. Well, I'm not smart, I'm sorry. I can't work that way. Sheet. No. Thinking of myself this way will make myself un-smart! Scrap that. I am a smart kid!

Good thing I abandoned this place. No one's here to listen to me argue with myself. I'm such a schizophrenic. No, I'm not.

What sort of crap am I writing. This is like free writing. Really. I am annoyed at how emo I have become. Emotional. And it's just emotions taking me over, caught up in sorrow, lost in the song, but if you don't come back, come home to me darling, doobeedoo. I remember Yinxue used to sing that a lot. And the gay song from Rent. Live in my house, I'll be your shelter, just pay me back with one thousand kisses, be my lover, and I'll cover you.

Why can't I stop. This writing could go on forever. I'm just making myself feel worse right. I always try to be there for others, but then once I'm not needed, I'm just thrown to one side; discarded, like a used boot. Don't ask me why I used boot. I just like the sound of it. Get booted. Perhaps it's just like what Kelly and I used to say we felt about how people reacted to us. We tend to think too much and be over-sensitive, and tend to think that this person so-and-so thinks this way about me (us, separately) when actually whatever this person did to make us think this way was just a random action that signified nothing.

It's times like this that (I think) people consider suicide right? Worry not, I be not suicidal. I have too many things left undone. Like seeing Massa win the Brazil Grand Prix in 2 weeks time.

I used to think I'd always have an endless pool of friends. But now I see, that's far from the truth. The pool has dried up somehow. And whatever I pump in doesn't seem to fill up the pool to its former glory. It evaporates too fast. Global warming perhaps? Haha. Just a futile attempt to try to make myself laugh a bit. An attempt that failed miserably. Oh fine. I'll go away now and wallow in my misery and self pity. But before I go, a beautiful song that I've liked ever since I first heard it. Must've been in Primary school. But it was only recently that I rediscovered this song. Here we go.

I Won't Say (I'm In Love)-Disney's Hercules Susan Egan

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history--been there done that

Who'd ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you (Oh, no)

Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and who you're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no
You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh
It's too cliche
I won't say i'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

No chance, no way,
I won't say it, no, no
Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love
This scene won't play,
I won't say i'm in love

You're doin' flips, read our lips:
You're in love
You're way off base, I won't say it (She won't say in love)
Get off my case, I won't say it
Girl, don't be proud
It's okay you're in love
Oh, at least out loud, I won't say i'm in love

Misery, agony, helplessness, hopelessness, Heartache and woe.

2008-10-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

Whoa. Oh my sky, Would you believe this. I'm finally back after 1306346912 days of hiatus. Whoo. I don't think enyone even comes here anymore. I should make an effort to revive this place, no? Anyway. Down to business.

Promos are long over. Thank heavens. When I think about how long I've not posted, I am reminded of how I used to blogsurf all the time. Whiling those hours away, those times that I had. So free, I used to be. And of course, I wasn't as lazy as I am now. But that's not the point.

I mean. Blogsurfing. Everyday (almost). For at least an hour or so. At those same old blogs I used to visit all the time. Ah well. Those were the days of the Secondary School. Now that we are in the Junior College, we do things so differently. Hah. What can I say.

Friday workshop groups for A-Levels (right?) are out! Lucky, lucky I. Great groupmates. Haha. I couldn't hope for a better group. We know each other so well. Lucky lucky I.

I procrastinate too much. I always start things I can't finish. And I don't speak to people the way I used to. Do I really have to resort to reading self-help books to learn how to communicate with others? Or is it just that I refuse to go and make the effort to make the connection
because, I'd remember those times? Gawd, I sound like some emo kid. Must be that time of the month again. Sigh, I wish. I really wish I could turn back time to have those happy days back again. Cliched, but true. Cliches are always right in some way, even though they sound so
cheesy and such. Sigh.

Well. Hmm. Let's talk about duos! Amanda and I have sort of settled on Christopher Durang's Baby with the Bathwater for our duo. Ms Pringle and Principal. I always have a feeling of inadequacy. IS there such a word? Let me correct myself. A feeling of
being inadequate when it comes to things related to TSD. I'm perfectly fine on my own, but when it comes to comparing myself with others, I just think, I don't think deep enough. I'm not 'conceptualizing' enough. What was that word that I kept quoting Jireh for? Dang. I can't remember.
Starts with a C I think. Ah yes. 'Congruent'. It is not congruent. Writing in a blog is exactly like free writing. It's the easiest kind of essay writing. Not that I would call a blog post an 'essay' of course. Hah. What would the title of this particluar essay be, I wonder. Possibly
'Rants of an Emo Kid' or, 'Those Days' or something like that.

Remember what I just said a paragraph ago about not ending what I start? Or starting things I can't finish? I just did it again. Start typing about something I wanted to say, then I digressed. Terrible. I have the
mind of a seven-year-old. I can't concentrate for more than what, 10 minutes? Short attention spans. What's the disorder associated with this? Autism? Let me wiki it. Gosh. Technology is marvelous when it works. When you have to struggle with fuzzy internet connections, laptops/appliances
with short battery life that go kaputt on you when you need them the most, you just feel like technology was invented to annoy you. Oh here we are. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

"Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurobehavioral developmental disorder affecting about 3-5% of the world's population. It typically presents during childhood, and is characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness and inattention, with or without a component of hyperactivity."

Well. I sure as hell don't have the hyperactive part. You won't find a more lethargic person. Perhaps just at this moment. I must be the most lethargic person in the multiverse. Woo. The bass power of my computer's speakers just caused the roof to vibrate. Possibly due to natural frequency, as the speakers
vibrate at the same frequency as the roof. Yes, everything has a natural vibrating frequency. Even humans. Whoo. Imagine if we found our natural frequency and some soundwaves were of the same frequency. We'd explode nicely. That's how a soprano singing a high note can shatter a glass wine thingy. Wossname.
Wine glass. Yes. See. I've jumped topic again. I can't be bothered to continue what I was writing.

I think this post is long enough. If you've actually read thus far, I applaud your achievements. You should get a medal for persevering all the way to the end. Seriously. Other than myself, I don't know who else reads this. Perhaps I should just give myself a medal right now. I am tired. I will sleep.
Group breakfast tomorrow morning! Something nice to look forward to.

[edit]I am very out of touch with blogs. I go to my links page and stare and stare and I don't know where to start. And to think I just said that I could spend hours blogsurfing. Oh, the irony of life. Sigh. I don't know whose blog to read.
I keep thinking. Why. Why. Why. Emoness. Gawd. Stop it please. I am turning into the kind of person I'd like to dislike.

Sweetie pie is an expression, not a food. You don't go into a restaurant and order sweetie pie.

2008-06-25T23:12:00.001+08:00

Madness. I have time to come here and talk crap! When I should be studying for mid-years that I don’t have to do. Hohoho.

Anyway. I know what the next book I’m going to get is. Saw the thing in Times at the airport. Now here comes the title. How to think like a Maths Genius. Useful it is. Now I know how to multiply any 2-digit number by 11.
Should have bought it there and then instead of buying that Ukrainian lady’s ‘Two Caravans’. And up to where I’ve read so far, it’s not even particularly funny. Really. Terry Pratchett beats her hands down, legs tied and eyes closed. I should stop buying nonsense books and just buy his.
So I won’t feel disappointed after reading them. I hate it when I read a book that I bought and I find that it doesn’t live up to my expectations. I feel useless. Tis a sign that my nose for hunting out and sieving out the good books from the bad. Of course, taste in books is relative. But.
That’s not the point.

Well. This Math book thing, it teaches you how to, well basically, think like a genius. But it’s actually just tricks for calculating mentally really fast. It’s good though. Trains your mind to think swiftly. Keeps your mind well-oiled and exercised. Quick! Answer me this. What is 3.5.4!

No calculators allowed.

Go. If thy answer is 360 and you got it right in less than 10 seconds without calc, congratulations! If you didn’t, well. Haha. There’s always the calculator in exams of course.

What an exciting day today. I cannot run to save my life. While jogging to the Subway at East Coast with the 4 fellahs and 2 wimmin with bikes, we witnessed something horrific. Possibly, probably, a woman wanting to commit suicide at the expressway. I don’t want to speculate, but twas scary. And such violence.
She was with another man who, we inferred, was restraining her from doing it. Street theatre really. Of course we called the police to come break up the quarrel/robbery/suicide-attempt/event, and tis true that many of our fellow good countrymen only stand by to watch, but interfere not. All of a sudden! A well-built guy in VJ pe-shirt appears and attempts to save(?) the lady.
Tried to talk some sense into her. While the other fellow who was her (her boyfriend possibly) just walked off. This unknown hero just grabbed the lady’s arm and refused to let her go even though she tried to struggle a little and was resistant to what he was saying. In the words of our senior, twas a 15 minute impromptu monologue, under stress. Freaking slow the police were in arriving.
Yes certainly. 20 minutes to get to the scene. Someone could have DIED. Well at least they arrived in time and we got to leave to go seek out our dinner.

I have a new song stuck in my head for now! Finally, no longer is it the chinese funeral song that plays on repeat in the media player that is my brain. Tis now 'You are the Moon' by 'The Hush Sound' from the album 'Like Vines'.
Catchy. Even though it is a slow one, it still sticks. And the lyrics. So meaningful and beautiful. I love these sort of songs. Calms you down after a long, angst-filled, problem-filled, emotional day of slots. Yes, they are emotional. TRY IT YOURSELF, WILL YOU. Stick yourself in my tattered old sNike sNeakers. I need new shoes! Certainly, it may be more of a want than a need,
but, you can hardly tell the difference right. If you look at it with the materialistic part of your brain, it will be easier for you to understand. Since when! Why materialism when we have been told it is bad? Holding on to things, wanting new things, makes you very, very unhappy and that leads you away from the path of Dharma. See. I won't say I'm a staunch buddhist,
but I know that his teachings are very true. Goodness me. What is with these horrible, loss-making fetishes of mine? Freitags. Shoes-all kinds. Sheesh.

Go away. One can dream about what they want to have but can't get right? Yeesh. Can't believe this. Less than a week away from TSD A-levels. Go seniors! Go juniors! Persevere. See, even persevere has the word 'severe' in it. That's how tough persevering is. Yeesh.

You are the Moon-The Hush Sound

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier

All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

2008-06-16T16:22:00.001+08:00

I keep forgetting what I want to say. Short-term memory loss is affecting me badly badly. Most salubrious to not be able to remember things you must. Well. On with things.

My beautiful pair of fighting fish. Keeping a pet is all about trust. Of course, habits and their fishy instinct play an important part in their
training. But. Trust is most important. If you constantly feed them by sticking your fingers into the water, everytime you do that, they will come to you. O, but they're creatures of habit, you argue. Well. If you stuck your fingers in without the food, they wouldn't go to you anymore. See. Trust.

Today be my only rest day off'f slots. It'll be back to hard gruelling, back-breaking labour soon. I never realized how close the A-levels were. It's unnerving. To think that tis their A's but we're the ones that'll make it all work. What if we went on a strike? Of course we wouldnt', but. What IF.
I wonder.

S'quite exciting to think that we'll be getting juniors in another 6 months. And we'll have the run of the place. But of course. We'll be just that bit closer to A's already. Study!

I have not touched a bassoon in. 3 weeks. When we get back to it, I pray I do not sound like a dead duck. Hm.

Emcee-ing was nothing, but. The day itself was scary. And I realized things about our family. What would you do if your father passed away on your daughter's wedding day? Or how about if your mum
went during your honeymoon? Perhaps, to receive news that your dad wouldn't be around anymore while you were on holiday with your kids in Oceania? Or how about you going to the hospital to see your grandma in ICU at 7 am on your birthday, with her passing two days after that? What is wrong with our family tree?
My dad puts it all down to the human will. You hang on till you see what you're waiting for to happen and you go peacefully. It's frightening. That's why I'm afraid to go on holidays. You don't know what goes on back on homeground. It's unnerving.

Moritururi Nolumus Mori
We who are about to die, don't want to.
Non Temetis Messor
Don't fear the reaper.

2008-06-14T17:53:00.001+08:00

Tsk. There is no one online now for me to rant at, therefore I have decided to entertain thou who have decided to drop by my place. I realized that if I don’t update often, people won’t come to visit. I should not let my place go stagnant. Hm.

This is such a lousy redundant thing for me to say but I want to say it and you will not stop me. My phone is so terribly quiet nowadays. The anathema device. Gone were those days where I had to restrain myself to not exceed our 300 free messages per month. Just messaging normally without restraint now can get me through to a number just behind 300. The fun of the restraint. Part of the eight month old story. I know, tis was eight months long. Eight point five maybe. But not exceeding nine. See. Nine was always the magic number to determine anything. Even pregnancy. If you couldn’t take your kid for nine months, of course you could give it up. I wonder what the next eight point five months shall bring.

Melancholic enough? Leave that and let’s ameliorate our English vocab. After listening to a vocab-ful friend speak, ie Baohui, I am determined to learn as many new words as I possibly can. Pardon me if these are words you already know but I need to remind myself of my absolutely inadequate vocabulary.

Saporous-flavourful
Soporific-inducing sleep
Ameliorate-improve
Lachrymose-inclined to weep
Piquant-stimulating
Supercilious-haughty
Salubrious-detrimental to health or well being
Expurgation-to remove objectionable material before publication(of a book?)
Anathema-accursed
Desideratum-something that is desired

These words for now. I have used all of them except for piquant. When in the world would you need to say something is stimulating? Piquant for imagination?

We bought two fighting fish for ourselves today. I will endeavour to take utmost care of them and not let them swim in salubrious waters. I will. I will. O hell mid years. Most salubrious to have A-levels at the same time as you. Begone from this place and go back to the fiery hells from whence thou camest.

Off to be emcee for cousin's wedding then. Hah. fourteen june.

Ab hoc possum videre domuum tuum.
I can see your house from up here.

2008-05-27T14:51:00.000+08:00

AH! It's all over. Mono results are out. Sadsadsad. And when I think of what transpired between you both, my character comes back to haunt me.

Thank heavens Majestia is over! Now I don't have to fight for time with
higher-ups and get all stressed about undone work. Which all lie sadly on my desk-uh-in my bag, untouched, unloved and uncared for. And will probably stay that way till, erm. The moon turns blue. Yes.

Literature changes people. It is interesting to see the way their speech changes drastically. No longer immature, they think on a deeper level and analyze things, and cease to be superficial. So when I say,
Stars hide your fires/Let not light see my black and deep desires. You know tis vaulting ambition that drives our foul hero Macbeth and maketh him fall on the other side.
But what am I speaking. Tis a good day.
A fair day. There is only a step that remains to be o'erleapt, or else I shall fall over it. O, the wreckage that is our ambition, hormonal, angst-filled lives.

How could the teachers close the tsd studios during the holidays! I need to study somewhere!

O. Majestia was a happy affair. We 5 bassoonists finally got to wear our beautiful bassoon collar pins that t'were
purchased from the 'Shop at Carnegie Hall'. Haha. Happy happy. And our own dressing room! Unbelievable. With toilet and shower too. And lockers and mirror and lightbulbs around it that were too powerful and what
burned a hole in a blazer. Some songs may not have been our best, but still, it was a great concert. Our first at Esplanade! Amazing. But of course. Carnegie's acoustics were way better. Esplanade just doesn't cut it.

Foule meane thinges! Will this constructinge and buildinge of sewerage systems never ende? Our whole fair hovel is shaking like a leaf in a breeze! Of course, no house shakes like a leaf in a gale right. O, how foule!
Thate is wherefore I neede a calm, peaceful place to studye! O 24, 24, wherefore art thou 24?

To see the world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower.

2008-05-10T17:37:00.000+08:00

Phew. Monos are finally over. That stressful, time-consuming aspect of our exams. Slotting for weeks just for that 10 minutes of performance time. It's the same with all perofrmances is it not? Practice like hell for months
and just for that 20 minutes in SYF, or that 2 hours in concert. And once you make a mistake, it's gone. The moment's just gone. You can't just say, wait! that was a mistake! Just carry on like it was supposed to happen.
Phew.

Blardy hell. At least now I know how not to smile and to be unhappy for 10 minutes. I can keep a straight face! Rubbish. Now I can't stop keeping a long face. Blardy busy.

What with concert and seniors' A's and MYE-s and life what it is. And-well-perhaps I sapped too much of my character from my mono. Why. Why was she such an emotional woman. Come on. Snap out of character. 'Tis time to
go away. Stop thinking. It's probably just my freaking jealousy.

BAck to the real world. Band concert coming up! 21st May, Esplanade, 7.30 pm, tickets $20/$25/$15. The $15 ones to be released soon. Repertoire (not necessarily in that order, but most likely to be):
Orpheus in the Underworld

Dona Nobis Pacem
Do Enka Express
MACHU PICCHU!

~Intermission~

Alumni Band'll be playing 2 songs of their choice
Entrance of the Gladiators
The Immovable Do
Star Wars Trilogy

Our highlight. How exciting. 20 minutes long it is. But Machu Picchu is still the most feel-able and express-able one. Oh well.

I wish this would all end quickly so I can get back to studying! And emoting. Hah. Funny. Rubbish.

I am not an optimist!

2008-03-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow at this time I will be on the plane flying to NEWYORK BAYBEH! Unbelievable. The day we have been waiting for, for about 2+ months is finally here. Holy bugger, I really just can't believe this. I really just can't.
It's all too ethereal. Let's go enjoy ourselves in New York! And try to forget about work for a while. Playing in Central Park and Carnegie Hall is not as simple as it looks. Playing. I remember our section motto used to be
'Stop playing and start Playing.' Up to you to interpret which version of playing it is. Okay. Let's do this. Play from our heart of hearts and come back proud and victorious!

Goose Pimple Index(GPI) 10.

2008-03-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

I've found my mononononologue. It's from some obscure play by some obscure playwright that I bet you've never heard of. John Mortimer's What Shall We Tell Caroline. I see the look of incomprehension on your face. EXACTLY MY POINT.
Oh, how I wish Princess Mononoke or Nausicaa was in English so's I could steal some beautiful monologue from San or
Nausicaa. They're both girls anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem. But then again, if Ghibli films were in English, the feeling wouldn't be there anymore. It's just not the same in English and Japanese. And who bothers about cross-dressing? I had
2 beautiful monologues waiting to be read by me. Unfortunately, they just had to be spoken by males. Eh, those monologues were of high quality. Robin Williams won an Oscar for doing that monologue. And the other one was by Oxcar Wilde in his
play, The Ideal Husband. I mean. It's just that same issue about guys and girls. Whassamatter with wearing guy's shoes?? It's just a pair of (shift 1-9) shoes. And don't you dare ask me what shift 1-9 is, you !@#$%^&*(.

Wellheck. I'm very apprehensive about the New York trip. I don't want to go there and be some loner. I shall bring my mononononononononologue there and shout it out in Carnegie Hall! Test out the acoustics. If I can do it there, of course
I'll be able to do it here, in Day or Night or wherever my space is going to be. Oh man. Life is terrible. I don't mind going through another sec4 year. Though oseven was rather terrible. It was wholesome too. But I think. I have to move on.
YES DO YOU HEAR THAT. MOVE ON. SLAP YOURSELF AWAKE.

And oh my goodness goodness. The Greek exhibit was so terribly RA. And there were CHILDREN in there!!! Can you believe it? Some ART it is.

Thou imbecile.

2008-03-01T23:52:00.000+08:00

Today, I rediscovered my love for Animation Medley. After playing it for 1 hour plus during band practice today, I find I am more bonded with the song! Sounds impossible, but yes. No one used to play it with me. Oboes didn't know the melody, and I
didn't have a bass clarinet to substitute for saxes. But today! Marvelous music. Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass playing the song. Although we only managed to do the Laputa part of the song(the 1st 25% of the whole 8min plus song) it was good enough
for me, for the time being. I've never met other band members who were so passionate about the music too. Happy Victorians Day today. I know my shirt may seem the most terrible-looking to you. But I like it and that's what matters, no?
I am only truly happy when I'm playing my instrument. Don't need no words to convey how much emotion there is in the music. I finally found out the 4 Ghibli films from which the songs in Animation medley were extracted from. Laputa:Castle in the Sky,
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Porco Rosso, My Neighbour Totoro. I sound stupid, but when I was trying to play the song for my section to hear on my phone today, my hands were shaking. Really shaking, I wasn't doing the parkinson's thing.
Gawd, I didn't know that Joe Hisaishi's music had such a powerful effect on people. That actually goes without saying. Anyone who has heard Sekai no Yakusoku will never forget it, I bet. Yes I will, I shall bet. Japanese songs are too beautiful.
Abandoned my Gr7 amd Gr8 piano songs for Yukie Nishimura's piano songs. Hopefully my piano teacher can procure a compilation of Joe Hisaishi's piano works so that I may play Summer soon. Oh my music.

Why do my favourite groups take turns to abandon me? Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I take turns to ignore the other 2. Oh cryptic-ness. Leave me be. I want to go for Speech Day. Stupid me should have tried harder to get more distinctions
so I wouldn't be worrying my blardy head off here wondering if I get to go for the marvelous event that we'd wanted to attend as a prize-winner since Sec1. 'Tis like absurd plays. We all say we want to leave, but inside we really can't and so
we don't, and stand there looking absurd like Vladimir and Estragon waiting for Godot. Tsk.

Nothing happens, twice.
I wait for Godot.

2008-02-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

Hello. I wish I wrote this yesterday so I can wish everyone else, GOOD LUCK FOR POSTING RESULTS TOMORROW! Well heck. I was so blardy tired yesterday I could hardly switch on the computer to write anything. I think TSD public performance was rather successful?
Hopefully. Except for the fact that the OGLS were cheering LOUDLY during he/she gods' performance. We'll not harp on that and the fact that our senior's costume disappeared. Ehem. I was sure it was in the costume room. Most queer.

How can anyone not love Alvamar Overture? I agree the beginning is a bit lousy and unprofessional, but the slow parts and the ending is just beautiful! The way James Barnes can layer the different melodies all together tand make it sound not
only coherent, but beautiful and majestic! Don't you feel that sense of exhilaration when the song's over. Same as Machu Picchu. Darn. I have a mental block now. Don't know what to write anymore. Listen to The Inferno by Robert W. Smith!
It's a terribly emotionally charged song. But powerful too. Band songs! I'll be back perhaps later tonight to finish this post. Or maybe I'll just not come back and do a new post. I don't know. We'll see how things go.

I'm gonna rob you, Rob You, ROB YOU!

2008-02-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be writing my 1200 words TSD essay on 'What is Theatre' now, but I just can't think of any ruddy thing to write. So here I am. Maybe writing rubbish here will help to wake up my dead brain cells that have been fried by all that
radiation from the phone and help me to write the remaining, er, 1139 words of my essay. Yes, do the math thyself.
What I want to say is. Happy V-day! And Happy Total Defence Day and Cross Country Day! And Posting Results Day,
then Orientation days. O, and of course. Our public P day on Monday. Public p = public performance. Yay. Finally I get to watch he/she gods and Cardboard Men! Don't really know much about Moustache and Dandylions. I just want to watch
as many as I can catch. Thankfully we don't have to pay anything to watch. Hohum. Cleared up the costume room today. A lot of random cloth and weird bloody (bloody as in, splattered with blood) tops and bottoms, wigs and hats and shoes. And of course. Flowerpots, masks, make-up,
broom+dustpan, tutus, labcoats, what have you. Oh yes, and a laptop too. Methinks Day&Night&24&the costume/props alley has everything we need for anything at all. We never have to buy props ever again! Yes! Rubbish.

Oheck. I must be getting on with my essay. Please help me think of things to write. What is Theatre? Just flood my tagboard with suggestions. I don't care how random it is. I'm desperate. Argh.

Ha. Guess who we spotted today at Fish&Co where we were celebrating Gill's and Xinying's birthdays. Someone who can be found on pg47( I think) of our 06Cedar yrbook and whose name starts with an A! Hohoho. Of all the places and times in the
world, why now and here? Haven't seen her in a year. Hey, that rhymes. Since Speech Day! Maybe we should have gone over and watched Chingay? And then silly me went to take the wrong bus home. Was supposed to take 14 but I ended up in 16.
I thought 16 would take a shorter route but in the end it went one big round around Indoor Stadium where some concert just ended, so people piled up in the bus. Then it went somewhere around Northlight Secondary. And then ChungCheng High.
I was afraid I was on the bus that was going the wrong direction. However I was so tired I could hardly bother. At most I'd reach some interchange then grab a cab home or something. Muahaha.

Fine. I'm just being too ruddy random. My eyes are paining already. I reread Macbeth again and I realized how much I
really really liked it. Like all of a sudden I can remember all the important quotes! And I spout quotes like a Lit teacher, but at appropriate times of course. That's my favourite Macbeth soliloquy on the front if you haven't seen it. Oh this anagnorisis.
Hooray for Godzilla! I just realized we have to go visit it again on Monday to extract the garden tables. Hopefully the security guard lady is there to aid us in our endeavours. Haha.

I love pulling fingernails and/or skin around fingernails. Do you love pulling your fingernails and/or skin around fingernails? It's a very painful habit but I can't un-habit myself. Maybe the word is inhibit. I dunno. Pulling is fun and infectious
and addictive but it just hurts like hell sometimes.

Okay. I know by now you must be screaming at my rubbish and random post. Therefore I shall leave to go to sleep. Oyasuminasai. This is such a lame ending to such a marvelous post. O, better
get a wheelchair.

Art is an expression of the self.

2008-02-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

Bloody hell. I want a pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. I just love the flap at the back that says 'TIGER'. I can't stop staring at it. I just can't. But my mum will probably throttle me if I say I want to buy more shoes. She knows the price
range of the things I want. Sigh.
Creme sneakers, Onitsuka Tiger at Star Three Sixty $239
Oh this materialism is driving me crazy. Every time I walk in a shopping center, I'll see so many interesting and nice things to buy. Clothes,
shoes, BAGS, jeans, belts, what have you. Even though I know I won't really wear them really often, I just feel like buying them just to look at when I have them at home. So I have to keep pulling my mum out of the shops to get away from
the temptation. She's not very happy with my style of shopping. I'm not happy with my style of shopping. I never get anything boughtened. And the whole trip would have just been a waste of precious time.

Went for my XRAY today. It was horrifically scary. I had to lie down on something that was eerily similar to an operating table. Then the doctor brought down the xray thingy till it was directly above my spine. Or lumbar scalar
dunno-whatsis.

Doc: 'Don't move anymore please.'
I think I won't be able to after whatever it is this terrible machine is going to shoot at me.
So she went to the adjoining room and flicked a switch. The machine started up with a humming noise that
reminded me of those guns that shoot laser rays at you. And then, after the initial shock of the noise, I started to imagine myself as one of those poor people in the X-Files when they get operated on by the aliens. Urgh. I couldn't wait to
get out of there. The irony is in the fact that I wanted to scare people using the Odaika drum and flute sounds today during TSD. It didn't work and the retribution of my actions fell on me. Tsk. Will get results of the XRAY tommorow.

Okay. Some quotes today from the witty people at Catalogmagazine. Or, not exactly from them. But rather the witty people at Catalog quoted even more witty people of the past.

"When in doubt, wear RED." ~Bill Blass. Whatever happened to BLACK?
"I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes. I had one thousand and sixty." ~Imelda Marcos. Oh man. And I have three. Three pairs I mean. Not three thousand. I'd love to have three thousand sNike sNeakers,
adidas-s, Converses, Tigers, etcetcetc.
"The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the
immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling I have always cultivated." ~Oscar Wilde. So true. I do cultivate this too. It has now grown into a beautiful garden of ego.

"The difference between style and fashion is quality." ~Giorgio Armani. Ahah. Sounds like a Freitag doesn't it. Quality. Like I always say. A Freitag is a fashion statement all on it's own.

I have a new favourite song, for now! It's Melee's Built to Last. I love the lyrics.

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

Why do I yield to that suggestion whose horrid image doth unfix my hair,
And make my seated heart knock against my ribs
Against the use of nature?

2008-02-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm supposed to be doing TSD homework on Kabuki theatre, but I'm blogging cos frankly, I don't want to do homework. HAHA. Sounds familiar?

Anyway. Kabuki is scary okay. The actors all wear scary white make-up and they squint to make themselves look the part of teh samurai warriors in the acts. It's called the 'mie'. The squinting. And their music is scary too. I listened to
a short sample of the Odaiko drum and flute used to symbolize the appearance of a ghost. Do not attempt to listen unless you have someone else in the room with you. Trust me. Don't try it alone.
There's the sound of the tsuzumi. Should be familiar to many. http://park.org/Japan/Kabuki/sound.html Go to this site and scroll all the way down, then click on the 2nd and 3rd pics under instruments.
Now I know why Japs are so good at making scary films. Just listening to the drum and flute I can imagine Sadako already. Urgh.

Hmm. Let's talk about today's TSD. We did improvization. Fun man. I felt the exhiliaration everytime we improv-ed and we didn't break down or let the improv flag. Phew. I think I might like improv. It's not that scary. More practice!
Think it trains us to think on our feet.

My back STILL isn't better. I hope it's not a fracture. True, I may get a long term MC (haha), but it's not really worth it, is it? A painful fracture? Actually, as long as I can get an MC past cross country and NAPFA, I'm okay. As long
as it's not a fracture. Right.

Went to procure new reeds from Mr Zhang Jinmin, SSO bassoon principal, on Thursday. It's not everyday we get to choose how hard/soft/medium we want our reeds to be. And then he'll fix it for you on the spot! And I never knew I'd been using the wrong fingerings for
the highest Bflat all along. Darn. So throw face. He probably thinks I'm the worst player in the section.

Did you know! Every morning when I wake up, I think of going back to Cedar! Can't help it! I can't stand some of the people around here. No details will be provided. Just know that I'm serious.

Chinese New Year coming soon! Hope I get loads of red packets and loads of notes in them red packets too. Yeah. Can pay for my NY trip then. Oh, school is terrible. Fighting my guts out just to keep up. Especially for GP. I never knew
teachers would spew out so many cheem words and have us understand them. More books seem to be in order. Must not lag. I finally understand partial fractions properly-ly properly! What utter rubbish. I think everyone knows PFs already right.
And the trigo multiple angles thingy. Tsk. Why did we not learn this in Sec 3 like the rest of them. Ah well.

I must leave to rest my weary eyes for tomorrow's band practice! The SNYO bassoonist guy from MJ is coming over as a guest tutor. And I can go try out my new reeds. Exciting. Right. Must go. Till next time man. Ah. How I miss Yiddish, Khosidl and Freylachs.

If music be the food of love, play on!

2008-01-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

Good afternoon everyone! I'm happier than I've been in a long long time. Not just because of O's results obviously. Who in their right mind fails chinese man. I heard 14 people did. At least I'm not alone.

Shall not disclose why I'm so jubilant. Suffice to say that if you learn the art of patience, for waiting for the unexpected, the wait for it, no matter how long, is worth it. Cryptic words dears. Oh my connubial felicity.

Anyway. I've been thinking. I was hardly my seniors' junior. They hardly existed. Those seniors who did, I think I never juniored hard enough for them. Then, I was seldom my peers' peer. Not just for peering(verb) over the shoulder to
peek at answers kind of peer(noun) obviously. Half the time I wasn't present, spiritually and/or physically. I shouldn't have. Too late for regrets now, but I should've given whatever it took to be a proper peer(n). So I guess all I'll
ever be is my juniors' senior. It's so easy to be that. I love fitting into that role of juniors' senior. Maybe that's why I'm finding it so hard to fit into JC. After so many years of senioring, to ask me to be a junior suddenly is
impossible. It's going to be a whole year juniorless. And all that we'd be seeing are seniors. Oh man. What if I turn out to be another Oedipus Rex? Ha. Yeah right.

Band is my drug. Only in there, playing my guts and heart out do I feel properly jubilant. Maybe they put some heroin in the
reeds to make us addicted! Yeah right. When band ends I always never want to leave. And when it starts, I hate seeing the clock creep closer to six. Oh woe is me. Wherefore so?

Read this!

Noch gibt es sie, die [[ungestalteten]]
LKW-Planen. Farben, Signale, Streifen, Kreise und Balken formen sich zu Wörtern und Botschaften. Diese [[ungestalteten]] LKW-Planen sind die Grundlage zur Herstellung der FREITAG-Taschen.
Die Artenvielfalt der LKW-Planen ist jedoch bedroht.
Die LKW-Plane wird zunehmend als fahrende Werbesäule entdeckt und mit einheitlichen Werbegkampagnen tapeziert. Mit dem [[DESIGN-A-TRUCK-CONTEST]] macht FREITAG einen ersten Schritt zum Erhalt der Transit-Grafik.

Confussed? Here's the
English version.

They still exist, the [[un-designed]] truck-tarps. Colours, signals, stripes, sircles and bars form words and messages. These [[un-designed]] truck tarps form the basis for the production of the FREITAG bags.

However, the truck-tarp[[diversity of species]] is endangered. Increasingly they are being used as moving advertisement space, wallpapered with uniform advertizing campaigns. With the [[DESIGN-A-TRUCK-CONTEST]] FREITAG is making the first
move to preserve the Transit-Graphics.

Love it. Funny isn't it? The irony mixed with comedy to bring out the seriousness of the message. Save the Truck Tarps! Or we won't have anymore FREITAGS. Anyway, 1st prize for this contest is
2000 Euros! That's about SGD$6000. Money manymany. 2nd and 3rd prizes are 1000Euros and 500Euros worth of Freitag vouchers respectively. Not bad. If I had 1000Euros I can buy about 8 Knight-riders, or 4 Dragnets. Doesn't sound like
a lot innit. Ah well. We aren't 'Professional designers, enrolled students, graduates and post graduates of international design schools' so it doesn't apply to us. TSK.

I have a new best friend. I go to her when I'm angry, sad, happy, nervous, or just feeling in need of a buddy. She doesn't speak, but she doesn't have to. We understand each other completely. I place all my faith in her. Oh my dear piano.
Never complains no matter how much I play, doesn't matter how terrible my playing is. Absolute faith. I wish I could buy a bassoon. My very own 34378, or whatever number they're at right now. I think I should get a Freitag Bonanza if
I'm really going to NewYork.

I want to go to Japan too! Please sponsor me, Cedar!

Yesterday, I realized how much I miss Cedar, and CSB. Nothing'll ever replace them. I felt so secure stepping into an all-girls school again. Sigh.

Oh how random. Good luck to everyone for postings okay. Let's learn to live with what we've got, like how I've done for my Chinese and D7. Or you can always send your papers for rechecking/remarking. Let's
all send our Chinese papers! Then MOE'll be forced to change the whole chinese marking scheme, then I can pass and get the 2 points! Yeah! Yeah right. Tsk.

Let everyone and everything else fade into insignificance outside this connubial felicity. -D.H. Lawrence 'The Blind Man'

2008-01-21T17:08:00.000+08:00

Ohayo gozaimasu. My darned back is still hurting after, lemme see, 3 weeks and 4 days. Yes. Started on the 2nd day of Orientation and refuses to go away. I thought I'd be able to get away from it after a week or so, but alas. It was not to be.
I went to see the doc 2 Sundays ago and he told me it's just a muscle ache, it'll go away in 3 days. Today is Monday, a week and a day after he told me that. Rubbish. So I went to see a different doctor. Ha. This guy's my regular doctor(or should I
say I'm his regular patient?) and he knows his stuff. Cos I've never seen the other 3days MC doctor before. My doc gave me 2weeks MC as he said it could be dangerous if it doesn't get better in a week, could be a fracture. Not likely though,
we didn't do any backbreaking work. HA. 2 WEEKS MC! Huzzah.

Let's talk about the NEW YORK trip!! EXCITING! The most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life, other than the birth of my Freitag. Haha. Well, it's true. How often do you get to play at the Carnegie Hall eh? Ruddy exciting man.
Seriously. Look at this:

Program Details

North Torrance Youth Symphony Orchestra
Oxford Academy -Symphonic Orchestra
San Clemente High School Chamber Orchestra
Collegedale Academy Chamber Orchestra
Aliso Niguel High School Wind Band

Victoria Junior College Symphonic Band

Whoa. Can't believe it myself. Think I'm just attracted to the fact that we are going to NY. HA. It's no Japan, but hey. It's the Carnegie Hall. Plus, we get to play in Central Park, probably!
AND there are 4 shops selling Freitags in NY. Hopefully the US dollar drops some more so I can buy my KnightRider/Surfside6 there cheaper than if I buy it at Actually. Hohoho. New York, New York! Machu Picchu man. If Mr Tan decides to cut bassoons,
I'll just try my best to go play contra or piano just so I can go to NY too. Perhaps I should switch to oboes to have a higher chance of going. Surely a band needs more than 1 oboist. So our repertoire will be: Entrance of the Gladiators-Julius Fucik,
Machu Picchu-Satoshi Yagisawa, Einzugsgallope-Johann Strauss.
Happy Happy New York.

Okay. TSD is busy. Started crewing already. I'm going to play a nurse called Plimpton (tentatively) who gets splattered with blood! Harhar. Shouldn't be a problem
after Macbeth right. Then we have to make windows. And get lighters and labcoats for our senior's chosen play. It's about a bunch of psycho men, so he calls us his Psychos. Ha. I suppose whoever signed up to crew for him is a psycho? Well, I'm
liking the play. Very much like The Shining by Stephen King. Psycho men.

Blah blah. Practicepracticepractice. Studystudystudy. Thursdaythursdaythursday! Scary isn't it. It was supposed to come out faster so I wouldn't get too attached to
VJ! Oh no. Now I think the NY thing is really attracting me to VJ. And the proximity obviously. And TSD. TSK. I will study hard and then pray hard for Thursday! Good luck all my fellow comrades-in-arms! May the points be with you! (or not be with you,
since less points is better).

What if I said I'm not like the others?
What if I said I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're a pretender!
What if I say I will never surrender?

2007-12-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

This probably won't be a permenant skin. Unless I get too used to it. Darn. I don't know. The english is, ehem, rather terrible, don't you think.

Busy busy busy. Results out. Got my 2nd choice. DON'T ASK. Thought I could play for the 1st 3 months.WHY. And I'm not going to hide in the toilet and cry!

I want to play Huntsville! My sis and I stare at the comp now with nothing to play. Except Neopets. I've sort of given up on Diablo. I just keep making new characters but not much interest in them. Sigh.

KELLY! I want to go to your house! And eat prata and drink Milo Dinosaur!! HAHA. And play isketch on your com. And watch The Cat Returns!!! And fast loading-Youtube!!

Okay. I have to fly away now to watch Kindaichi. Dewa mata!

2007-07-22T07:58:00.000+08:00

Prelims are incoming. Work is piling. Stress is mounting.
Life is deteriorating. Time left is decreasing. Souls are shrinking.

Untitled Simple Plan

I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain and I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes

I've got nowhere to run

The night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes

I've got nowhere to run

The night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes, I've got no where to run

The night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

2007-07-15T16:43:00.000+08:00

I have been told that I am becoming more quote-unquote "girly". It is utterly scary and unthinkable that I should be observed as being more feminine without even noticing so myself. Is this supposed to happen when you are going to turn 16 in a matter of months? I'd rather stay 15 forever then.

It is sacrilegious to be losing myself without knowing it.

Leave Out All The Rest Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared

But no one would listen cause no one else cared

After my dreaming, I woke with this fear

What am I leaving when I'm done here

So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty

Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid, I've taken my beating

I've shared what I made, I'm strong on the surface

Not all the way through

I've never been perfect, but neither have you

So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty

Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well

Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself

I can't be who you are

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty

Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

2007-07-05T18:10:00.000+08:00

From now on, I will not post unless there is a real need to. But obviously, the correct answer is that there shouldn't be any posts at all.
Music, or song lyrics will help me say what meagre words cannot express. There is no need for me to speak, for there is no need at all.

Oh. And I have found a RED highlighter. Hah to those who scorned me at my quest for a red highlighter. And those irritating bookstore people dared to laugh at those who dared to look for red highlighters, saying there were no such thing. Well, hah. I have found one and it is mine.

My Immortal Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal,this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

2007-06-21T14:57:00.000+08:00

change

Well. So I finally come down to changing the blogskin. Not as comfortable with this one. All my old posts are gone. Sob. Well. Don't have to keep looking back to the past yes. So it doesn't matter anyway. My computer got virus-ed. And I have to fix it. Argh.
This feels weird. I never create posts. I always change the template. It's more direct. I feel. Change is the only constant, to quote a very famous person. Yes. Part 2 of the poem.

Was steht Leben für?

Der Mord, und Hass, und die Feindseligkeit,
Immer Präsens.
Aber, die Liebe, und Hoffnung, und das Glück,
Nie verloren.

Was möchtest Lebens?

Nur die Freiheit in Seligkeit
Zu leben.
Nur die Freiheit in Ruhe
Sterden.

I wanted to speak of a journey of a thousand miles, but I feel the mood is not right today. Perhaps some other time in the near future. That's odd. 'Near' is redundant. The future is always nearing and coming and looming.

I'm really not used to this create post thing. But I'm too lazy to go back to the template thing. I musn't be lazy but I can't help it.

Oh my word. There has been a commotion outside my house. This bird that looks like a cross between an eagle and an owl was chased around the neighbourhood by a murder of crows. What in the world. Reminds me of disrupted order and death. Is this an omen? Possibly. Very high possibilities of that.

On the other hand, there is life abrewing. Two sunbirds made a nest in the old pomegranate tree in the garden. Plus, the eggs have been laid already! The birds are tiny. Look more like hummingbirds than sunbirds.

School's opening again soon. Study hard everyone. Especially myself. I'm not studying enough. If anyone sees me slacking, make me study. I have no sense of self-control. Can anyone detest studying as much as I do?

Possibly not.

2007-06-19T16:47:00.000+08:00

deutsch

An wem denkst du? Deiner Freund? Keine Möglichkeit. Ich kenne dass du keine Freund haben. Das war richtig. An wem denn? Ich will das kennen. Ich habe viele Mittel und Wege zu das können. Was passiert mit dir? Ich weiß nicht. Dieser Aufsatz ist sehr schwierig zu schreiben. Ich will nicht mehr in Deutsch schreiben.

German is tough. Can't even right a proper essay. Dictionary must be on hand at all times. Sheesh.

Was vertretet Leben?

Nur ein Flitzen in das Lebenszeit
Von der Ewigkeit.
Einer kleiner Fleck in des weiter
Das Weltall.

Was bedeutet Leben?

Nicht leichter gewonnen, aber schneller
Weggewerf.
Eine Hetze von der Bewegung dass
Verschwindennen.

Part one done finally. Part two coming soon. Watch this space.

2007-06-17T17:23:00.000+08:00

musik

I like to think of my life in terms of music. If you've read Fever Pitch (which I believe none of you have) you will know that Nick Hornby thinks of his life in terms of Arsenal matches. Well, I think of mine in terms of music and artists.

When I was a mere toddler, I was a huge fan of Madonna, Gloria Estefan and Grasshopper(Cao Meng in chinese). Madonna's songs had much more meaning than they do now of course. That's why I'll always be a huge fan of Madonna. Who cares about whatever scandals that appear in the newspapers. To me, she's still that lady with the powerful voice I knew in my childhood. I have no idea why I started liking Grasshopper, but even now when I listen to their songs, I will sing along. Or at least hum along.

That was the toddler part. When I was a child, in the early parts of primary school, I started on Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. They were the rage back then. I still have their CDs. Pretty dusty though. Back then, I knew nothing of R&B and I thank my parents for it. Phew. I never liked R&B. Except for some exceptions.

And then, in my upper primary years, I started on classicals. I had no idea I would start listening to classicals forever after that. The CD was on offer. I looked at the cover and saw 2 or 3 familiar songs. Forced my mum to buy it. Well, actually she
was quite obliging. Classicals have always been in the family. So it started. No matter what other genre may overcome me, classicals would always be at the back somewhere and refusing to budge. I'm quite happy with that arrangement.

Then came secondary school life. Where I was introduced to this marvelous thing called the radio. I learnt of things called hiphop and rap and rock
and what have you. I was fascinated. I threw away classicals(or so I thought). Evanescence, Linkin Park(that came a little later), Simple Plan(in the latest stages of primary six), Black Eyed Peas. Of no particular genre, I observe. I see hiphop, rock, metal and punk. Hmm. What was I thinking. Back then, my phone was old and had never heard of bluetooth, but in upper sec, all that changed.

Phones played a big part in my musical life too as I observe. Got my first phone in the later parts of upper primary where I started taking control of my own music. The others were more or less weaned on me. 2nd phone in sec 1. 3rd and current phone in sec 2 or 3. Can't remember. Well. So in late Sec 2, I started listening to well, more or less classicals again, but a new breed. Band music.
Things like the Merry Widow, Ross Roy, etc etc. This was due to a marvelous thing called BlueTooth. Got songs transferred here and there in the blink of an eye. So I could listen to a whole bevy of band songs all the time. Wonderful invention. Those were the best times. Band songs and classicals are the easiest songs to listen to. No lyrics, profanities, heavy bass beats that make your
ears throb.

This year and about half of last year was basically a whirl of songs and artists. I was introduced to MCR. And 987 took over 924 and 963. A blaze of songs and artists. But then. In a magical twist of fate, I was drawn back to instrumentals. Anime music! Blast it. I can't unplug my ears from it. Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Howl's, Ranma, Chronicle of the Wings, Chobits, too many to name. Anime music, somehow they are appropriate. Sometimes melancholy, often light-hearted, seldom explosive. Sehr perfekt, weil es kann meinen ganzen Leben beschreiben.

I don't know what I wrote these for. Felt like reassuring myself of my musical history for once. Ha. What a joke. Description of music is simply immaterial.

2007-03-01T09:57:00.000+08:00

Well it rains and it pours...and then it rains and it pours some more. So appropriate. Today is a terrible day. So was yesterday. Rained and it rained and it rained again. It's all you people's fault. Even the friggin' school bell refused to work after you all left. Oh sneeze. And then it rained. Who knew? Maybe the skies were weeping? Cause they had a premonition that something was going to happen? Bad omens. It's a sense of FOREbodings that I have. Pretty scary, this.

Could we make it past this? I woke up at 6 this morning. Though I shouldn't be. Then I tossed and turned till 8. Hmm? Why, you ask. How should I know. This is one lousy week. So many losses. My beautiful koi went to fish heaven. 4 of them. The one who was about 8 years old left, the blue eyes one too, the small orange one and the beautiful tiny white one with the long flowing tail. Well. There are still a couple left. My dad bought a couple of new fish, not koi. But they will never replace the ones who left. 8 years old! Imagine that.

My dad thinks the cause of the epidemic is the damn construction in the house in front of mine. The rain water that day was extremely soapy and filthy. Can't be acid rain; it's ACID rain, not alkali rain. Damn. I want to sue the freaking owners. KILLED MY FISH! No. Not killed. MURDERERS!!!

Go and shoot yourself.

And my dad flew off to Dubai again yesterday. I wouldn't be able to handle another epidemic on my own. I'd die. Well, if I died, we'd be together. How true.

I'm really down on my luck. Well. It was voluntary so I can't blame anyone but myself. Yes. I shall. We, the members of DMT, couldn't even have a dry first excursion together. Forebodings anyone? Probably just my deficit of luck. Well, we had fun anyway, remembering the SUPERSIZED stuff in the Macs in the US of A. And the Blue Danube, not to forget that. What nonsense. I told you, music changes the whole friggin' mood. Well. The fun wasn't counting the fact that I bit my tongue. Hard. I was innocently reading the nutrition information of le DoubleCheeseburger. Then. Crunch. Ouch. They thought I had a nosebleed. Ha. Well, it bled anyway. Tanya was so fascinated. Well, it bled quite a fair bit. Got a red tissue paper to show for it. It's swollen now. Wasn't that bad yesterday. Can't even drink hot drinks without feeling the pain. It's that bad. And me biting my tongue has got nothing whatsoever to do with your superstition. The two pieces of information are not linked at all. It's just like saying that 2+2=5. If it's true I'd eat my hat.

No brolly on a day when it rains. My geog book got wet. Infernally wet. So did my shoes and socks. And my box of lakerol. And my pouch for keeping my amulets. Gosh. And I didn't see the lost glass panel at the library. So I walked into the downpour. Stupid. So blur. I'm just sleepy. My eyes couldn't focus. Slipping away from homework to the books on the table. Help. I need to keep my spirits up. How? How?

What do you do when the world turns its back on you?
If there are thoughts that you simply cannot eschew?
When you think you've bitten off more than you can chew?
Reached the end of your rope and don't know what to do?

Whatever. This person, who thought knew everything there is to know about the secrets to being happy, realises that there is an adversary to people who want to be happy. It's called depression. I'm sure you need an introduction. Depression=being affected by low spirits, a torpid state below the general level. I'm sure I know the general level, and I'm way below that. Happiness is ubiquitous, except for this vaccuum of nothingness here. Being in mourning feels fine. Shall stay that way. Black suits me just fine. I'm so sunk into this pall that I'm eating the chocolate rice straight from the pack. What's stopping me? Don't worry. I'm not suicidal. I'm too afraid of death for that. Death's Mortality Theory. Yeah. Makes sense now.

2006-06-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't be doing this. I should be concentrating on doing my EMATH. Cannot finish!! Tons of holiday homework. TONNES!!

Anyway. I shall try something I have never been able to do with my old phone. Here goes:

Yay. It works. Let me introduce. These are my sister's beloved children. The one on the far left is Lamby, the one in the centre is Birdy and I have no idea what she calls the extremely cute green one. And that's my sis in the background. Great imagination eh? I must say. This is fun. I shall upload more pics. Ho ho.

And this here is the delicious plate of kangkong that my mum cooked for me. It even has got garlic in it! Seriously, how could anyone resist. Yum.

Ok I shall not continue in this manner anymore. Wish me good luck tomorrow. Cheerio folks.